the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Oh god it's open bar.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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