Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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