yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize