so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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