She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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