Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
