Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
