im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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