This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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