Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
