you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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