he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
