if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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