Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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