I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
