Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i would punch a child for taco bell
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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