Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
