I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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