Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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