The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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