you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just invented taco cereal.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
