Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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