i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
