She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
we should paint friendship bongs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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