Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
