i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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