8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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