I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
