my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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