Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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