Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
