I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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