I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
