i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
