if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
