Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
