I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
