you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
