I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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