I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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