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I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
