I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if only i could text you this smell
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
