so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
