Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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