me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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