God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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