i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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