so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
