is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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