My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
