Please, let me fuck your mom
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
