I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
the raccoons are back...
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