come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
