it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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