10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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