she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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