Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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