I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
