You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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