So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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