Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
now i know why i became what i already was.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
