Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize