He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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